A Thought Trigger
Recently I saw
’s note about jealousy and how the feeling could be a compass.
Her note got me thinking… What do I get jealous about these days? Actually many things (I’m very envious person) but one thing particular came to my mind - winning (and not winning) awards. I entered this year’s World Illustration Awards and it cost me £48 and you know what? I didn’t even get longlisted 😭 But I wasn’t as jealous of the selected as I thought I would be. (If you’re selected, congratulations!) But Past Me would have been very jealous though…
When I started out, of course I wanted to be an award-winning illustrator (who doesn’t?) and I dreamed of calling myself as such in my bio. And I’m technically one as I won Spark Kingston & Richmond Children’s Book Awards in 2021, which I’m immensely proud of.
But so far I haven’t been nominated for, not to mention winning, any “prestigious” ones, such as The CILIP Carnegie and Kate Greenaway Medals, British Book Awards (aka The Nibbles) and the Bologna Children’s Book Fair Illustrators Exhibition.
I used to submit to the BCBF Exhibition year after year and my heart got dented each time. But after years of browsing the winners at the fair with jealousy, a realisation gradually hit me, that I would never be selected for this competition because I had never seen an illustration like mine being selected. So I stopped submitting.
What I have come to think is that if you don’t win, it doesn’t mean you’re not talented. Sometimes those awards are just not that into you. And it’s not your fault. In other words, they have types. Each award is different but there is definitely a strong preference for “naive” and “child-like” and “authentic (= non-digital)” among the award circle at the moment.
These days, I take more pride (and comfort) in being nominated for readers’ choice awards (like the Spark Awards) or even simply recommended by children/parents/teachers/librarians/booksellers. For example, The Blue Umbrella written by Emily Ann Davison and illustrated my me were selected for one of 100 Must-read Children’s Books of 2024 by Toppsta1 users. And I recently found out my latest authored book, Dotty Doughnut had been selected for one of 50 Recommended Books for Preschool list 2025-2026 by Books For Topics2. And nothing makes me happier than messages from parents saying their children ask for my books every night.
Also, at this year’s BCBF, I saw Chris Haughton speaking on a stage (he was one of the judges for this year’s exhibition), and he said something that made me laugh and also feel better. He told the audience (not in these exact words) that he and his fellow judge, Felicia Sala (I love her!), had never got selected for that awards so not to worry about it if you hadn’t been selected 🤣
I’m not (and neither was Chris, I think) saying those “prestigious” awards are pointless. Winning one of those is definitely 1) a great validation and 2) a great PR. I’d LOVE to get nominated for one of those big awards one day. I’d be thrilled and grateful if it happens. I still get the bitter-sweet feeling when my friends get nominated or win big awards (it’s a downside of having very talented friends). But I’ve come to accept that my illustration isn’t an award-winning type, but I have no intention to change my creative voice just to win awards. Do I sound like a sore loser? Maybe I am. Maybe it’s not them, it’s me. Maybe I’m just not that good 🤣
I didn’t get selected for the WIA. It stung a little for a moment but I feel OK about it (I’m still bitter about the £48 though). I don’t think I’ll enter the awards next year…
Thank you for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts! What do you feel about awards?
Momo x
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Comparisonitis is a terrible affliction! This is a lovely thoughtful look at why these things just don't matter...
Hi Momoko,
Thanks for the mention! It’s really nice to see that my post inspired you to ponder the subject of jealousy. And I totally get it: I have also entered various competitions and have always been heartbroken when I didn’t even make the longlist which (up until this year) has been: always.
And I totally agree with you that certain competition seem to favour certain styles.
For example, I’d say Picturehooks tend to go for a very lose, simplistic style. I remember making an illustration for the competition once that was quite detailed and very ‘tight’. Of course, it wasn’t selected and when I later looked at some of their winners, I totally got why.
At the same time, I have always thought of the World Illustration Awards as very focused on digital art, so when I entered this year, I felt like my pencil drawings stood zero chance. Imagine my surprise when I got the message that they had been longlisted.
Full disclosure though: in the same week that I found out I was longlisted, I got rejected by an agent even though I had sent her the very illustrations that got me longlisted.
*Sigh* Art - it’s so subjective.
@Rubywright actually wrote a Substack on competitions a while back which was really interesting. She actually listed all the times she was rejected which provided a good reality check.
I also recently watched an interview with a former WIA winner and she said she had been rejected lots of times and it was only when she made something that was super close to her heart that she was ‘finally chosen’. Now, I’m not saying that your entries weren’t close to your heart, but I can definitely say that this has also been true for me.
In any case, I hope you do keep submitting things because who knows, next year might be your lucky year. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you in any case.